did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
someone get that fucking seahorse.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
