Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
