We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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