Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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