this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
