hotel room ftw
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
