i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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