The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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