she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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