that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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