I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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