My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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