You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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