Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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