Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
