there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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