Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
