you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
this hospital has no fireball
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
