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Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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