I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
