it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Randomize
