My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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