God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
