Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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