ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
