bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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