You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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