Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
