Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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