May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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