Soap is not a condiment
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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