you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
It's shark week go big or go home
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
