shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
