I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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