I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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