he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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