I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
