we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
