So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
