Betty ford says i'm here all night
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
