she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
