i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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