I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
soo... how was my night?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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