I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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