i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
