What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
