just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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