the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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