I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I think your dad took our porno
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
