I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
