Kiss
Puke
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
