Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
