i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
