Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
