It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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