What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
